Category Archives: Years of Living Precariously, A&U Magazine

I was twenty-eight years old. In just a few months, perhaps, I projected, I would no longer be desirable, acceptable. I would, in fact, become a pariah, a walking manifestation of the disease that was ravaging my insides. Who would … Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, A&U Magazine, PT. VIII. 1986: First Ray of Hope?

(click on link) First Ray of Hope? On September 29, 1986, my picture appeared on the inside cover of Time magazine, on the index page, one of the three highlighted articles for that week. The picture was again on page … Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously”, A&U Magazine. Pt. VII. 1985: 745 Healthy Gay Men

(click on link for chapter) “Because that was the end of sex as we knew it. The spontaneous combustion of two people doing whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted, in any way they wanted to do it. This had disappeared … Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, pt VI: High Flight. A&U Magazine

“The flight attendant brought me a cup of warm pineapple juice and I cried. I cried because I was in the pilot’s hands and he had shared a bit of beauty with me and I couldn’t go back I could never go back and hovering in this pocket of air I knew that my life would never be the same.” Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, A&U Magazine, September, 2020 Part V, “In An Instant” – the exact moment of contact, Honolulu, August 1984

(click on link for chapter) I was conscious of it all, conscious of my desire, conscious of the risk, aware of his body on top of me, as if I were floating above myself, observing the moment when my life … Continue reading

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“Years of Living Precariously”, A&U Magazine, Part IV: Someone Like Me. Honolulu, 1984

(click on link for chapter) I knew the cruising routine well—how to appear just slightly aloof, to seem interested enough to pique curiosity in the one I chose, but not so interested that I appeared desperate. I knew the expression: … Continue reading

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“Years of Living Precariously”, A&U magazine. Part III. 1983: The Buddy System. Becoming a volunteer “buddy” at GMHC

(click on link for chapter) The buddy to whom I was assigned was named Bill, a tall, lanky Southerner who lived in the then-scummy neighborhood known as Chelsea, a rather bleak, run-down, precarious area, far removed from the more fashionable … Continue reading

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“Years of Living Precariously”, A&U magazine. Part II: 1,112 and Counting”. 1983: Larry Kramer’s call-to-action

Rumor had it that a common factor among those getting ill was the use of poppers and having multiple partners at the Baths. I didn’t like “poppers,”… I had been to the Baths only three times. I did not wear … Continue reading

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“The Years of Living Precariously”, my monthly column in A&U Magazine, chronicling the early years of the AIDS epidemic. Part I. 1980: “Last Dance”

(click on link for chapter) The disco ball above the small, cramped dance floor spins above the sweating, humping, happy men. And there is a flag-dancer on the edge of the crowd, turning and twisting his colored flags. And the … Continue reading

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