Category Archives: YOLP

This is the daily pill box that I fill every Sunday evening. This is the story of how it got that way. Part XIV of “Years of Living Precariously”, my ongoing column in A&U Magazine, chronicling my experiences during the … Continue reading

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Chapter XIII of my ongoing personal chronicle of the 1980s, “Years of Living Precariously”, in A&U Magazine. “Eventually, the movie houses closed. The Anvil closed, the Saint closed, the baths closed, Fire Island virtually shut down, Provincetown was Province-Ghost-town, the … Continue reading

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“Because I had not yet had an opportunistic infection, I was not labeled in the dreaded AIDS category. This helped fuel my hopes that I wasn’t really “that sick.” I also naively believed that everyone else understood the distinction among … Continue reading

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I was twenty-eight years old. In just a few months, perhaps, I projected, I would no longer be desirable, acceptable. I would, in fact, become a pariah, a walking manifestation of the disease that was ravaging my insides. Who would … Continue reading

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“The Shot Heard Round the World.” 1985. Remembering Rock Hudson’s press conference with Doris Day. “Years of Living Precariously”: Part IX of my ongoing chronicle of the early years of the AIDS pandemic, in A&U Magazine

Did Rock Hudson understand his place in history? Both he and Doris Day undoubtedly knew the importance of their appearance together. But they did not know, we did not know, no one knew, how much it really signified. It was the beginning. It was the shot heard ’round the world, the first blast from the cannon’s mouth, it was the beginning of the end. Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, A&U Magazine, PT. VIII. 1986: First Ray of Hope?

(click on link) First Ray of Hope? On September 29, 1986, my picture appeared on the inside cover of Time magazine, on the index page, one of the three highlighted articles for that week. The picture was again on page … Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously”, A&U Magazine. Pt. VII. 1985: 745 Healthy Gay Men

(click on link for chapter) “Because that was the end of sex as we knew it. The spontaneous combustion of two people doing whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted, in any way they wanted to do it. This had disappeared … Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, pt VI: High Flight. A&U Magazine

“The flight attendant brought me a cup of warm pineapple juice and I cried. I cried because I was in the pilot’s hands and he had shared a bit of beauty with me and I couldn’t go back I could never go back and hovering in this pocket of air I knew that my life would never be the same.” Continue reading

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Years of Living Precariously, A&U Magazine, September, 2020 Part V, “In An Instant” – the exact moment of contact, Honolulu, August 1984

(click on link for chapter) I was conscious of it all, conscious of my desire, conscious of the risk, aware of his body on top of me, as if I were floating above myself, observing the moment when my life … Continue reading

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“Years of Living Precariously”, A&U Magazine, Part IV: Someone Like Me. Honolulu, 1984

(click on link for chapter) I knew the cruising routine well—how to appear just slightly aloof, to seem interested enough to pique curiosity in the one I chose, but not so interested that I appeared desperate. I knew the expression: … Continue reading

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